Monday Job Reject

Rejection of the day.

Let’s be honest, not every job you apply for even really checks your application. Most of the time, Teletran 1(a nod to Transformers supercomputer from the 80’s cartoon) is taking your 1’s and zero’s from your resume and chewing them up and feeding it to their baby dot matrix computer for breakfast.

Every once in a while, there are enough “keywords” to slip by the Mega computer’s guard dogs to make it to a human person. Usually, that person is too busy to be bothered by the words so they pass it right back to Teletran 1 for the rejection letter. Sometimes, the company values writing (not mine, but theirs) so they like to be a little creative with the rejection letter. This one was an online women’s website, so they probably didn’t appreciate all dude references in my resume(like my name), and decided to reject me as gently as possible.

The things I liked the best of all on this rejection email was that they were both humble and proud that so many talented individuals applied.

Number 1: You can’t be both humble and proud at the same time. I know. I’ve tried. That’s like being both day and night at the same time. Or being both a pizza and a kale fan at the same time. But thanks for trying to make me feel better about myself.

Number 2: Really, you are flattered because so many talented individuals tried to join your team? I’m guessing 1, maybe 2 are talented in any sort of area, like picking up after themselves, or being able to walk and chew gum at the same time. While I can’t do either of those things, I do know how to write. Or at least make fun of people while typing words. Isn’t that what you want a copywriter to do for you?

Number 3: I don’t have enough experience for the position? How about I’ve written on my other blog for 5 years. How about I’ve written two posts on this one? How about I wrote a story back in third grade that got a C? How about that time I wrote a status update on Facebook? Or the time I tweeted a complete sentence without errors on Twitter those 4 times? Not enough experience?

Last observation. They like puns just as much as I do. “..just because this position wasn’t the right fit, doesn’t mean that you should write us off completely.” Nice. Do you do that for all of your copywriter position rejections?

Well, off to get more rejections.

So, what was your favorite part of the rejection? Had any similar letter rejections? Or let me know some of the clever rejections you’ve received.

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Bitter Ben

Job Rejections

 

Jobs are hard. They require all kinds of…work. Long hours doing something for a company that may or may not appreciate what you are doing. Getting paid way below what you probably deserve. Getting turned down on promotions you probably deserved way more than the bosses daughter.

But nothing is harder than FINDING a job. Unless you are the bosses daughter, or are naturally outgoing, talented, friendly, a second generation brown noser, and born with a Harvard Law degree stamped on your back, getting jobs don’t come easily.

Not to mention, when I grew up, you walked into a company, asked for an application and you got rejected on the spot. Nowadays, you get computers running your resume in to a grinding mill, and spitting out a rejection email the second you hit send.

As I am in the midst of the harrowing, life numbing, soul crushing search for a job, I just thought I would help people get a laugh out of a my rejection. This blog will be about rejections I get, crazy job descriptions and laughable “salaries” people offer for doing insane amounts of work.

As the annoucers used to say on NBA Jams, “You got REJECTED!”

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Bitter Ben